How to Find and Match With a Therapist

Most of us know that to find a therapist all it takes is to Google “therapist near me,“ click the first link, and then boom. You’re done. Or maybe you take it one step further and look up therapists on a database like Psychology Today and filter therapists to what you want them to offer. These are both great! And, there is also more to finding a great therapist that can foster communication, honesty, vulnerability, and security. Essentially, are you and the therapist a good fit?

Now being a good fit with a therapist can be difficult to figure out at first glance. Everyone is unique, both you and the therapist, so finding someone who matches what you want in every way is probably not going to happen. But you can get close! Here are a few things that can be done to find that therapist that just feels so natural to be around.

Similarity

Research shows that those who are more similar tend to get along better. Similarity can be physical traits or internal traits like beliefs, values, likes/dislikes, etc. A good example of this could be that a 40-year-old black man would most likely feel more comfortable around a therapist who is also roughly the same age, a male, and black. The same goes for other traits, for example, someone who is more logical may want a therapist who thinks logically, regardless of physical features.

Often, these physical features are the easiest to see and understand but what if the internal features of someone are more important such as a religious belief or sexuality. Now is the time to read a therapist’s bio. They will explain who they are and often give insight into whether they are a good match.

Proximity

Most people don’t want to spend an hour of their time traveling to see a therapist. Perhaps not even 30 minutes or 15 minutes, I know I sure don’t. Some people also don’t have the luxury of choosing between a million different therapists all inside a mile radius. So, this is where a compromise will need to take place.

The compromise is this: closer is not always better, yet traveling too far may wear someone out to the point of frequent cancelations or reschedules. You must find a balance between the max distance you are realistically willing to travel and not settling on who is closest.

Taboo Topics

Therapy is all about change and diving deep into topics that some may view as uncomfortable, awkward, vulnerable or culturally taboo. Now is the time to be very honest with yourself. Who do you talk to about these topics? If you never talk about them, who do you wish you could talk to? Sometimes it isn’t your best friend or closest family member you confide in about deep personal information. It may be good to find a therapist similar to the person you do confide in.

These are just a few steps you can take to find a therapist that is a good fit. It may take some time, but that is ok! It is worth it! And, if all else fails, try again with a different therapist. They won’t get mad. They want you to do what is best for you.